Every Moment Matters

By: Michelle Jones

Sadly, I spent a lot of years mad at folks who I believed did not love me. It used to anger me when I couldn't get my family to see me for who I was, someone who wanted to feel their affection.

It would have been easy for me to move towards forgiveness and create a bond; however, I thought forgiveness and connection meant they needed to change. It wasn't until I read Love Languages by Gary Chapman that I understood change would have to begin with me.

Our ways of giving and receiving love can bring a lot of misunderstanding, especially if we've only known love to look and feel a certain way. This does not mean we are wrong for how we have expressed ourselves. But it can mean we might have missed the many ways others have expressed love towards us.

After discovering that love had many languages, I could feel a sense of regret. I was so hyper-focused on wanting love from certain people that I neglected to offer them the love they needed too.

It doesn't matter if it's a parent, friend, or partner. I encourage you to take the time to look outside ourselves and seek to understand how they might have a different way of feeling connected. Do they always give you thoughtful items? This doesn't mean they are materialistic, but rather enjoy something tangible, something they can see or hold. Others might want your time; for them, quality time is meaningful. Or maybe, like yourself, you might want to simply hear the words "I love you."

Building relationships has become one of my greatest treasures. It takes investment, bridging love as we know it and love as they know it. We cannot stay mad at situations or people because we think they should know what we need. Identify what love means to you, and then communicate that in a way that enlightens another.

A better life begins for us all each and every day, knowing that every moment matters.

Michelle Jones, #X11515

Central California Women’s Facility